“Genius” has been described as the “ability to focus on one thing at a time.”  Many people who are “geniuses” are so not only because they have a high intellect, but because they are a gift of being able to focus on the objective or goal at hand. 

One way to determine what your direction is (and ultimately your goals are) is to do a check-up.  I suggest listing 7 categories:  Financial, Career, Family, Personal, Spiritual, Mental, & Physical.  Rank your goals in these categories and how you’re doing.  This will illustrate to you where you are and where you’d like to be and exactly how balanced you are as you move about your process. 

1. Set goals that are smart.  Big goals must be broken down in to manageable pieces.  Don’t set more than 4 goals to work on during a single day.  Seek divine guidance and direction on each goal. 
2. Then identify what the pay-off is when you achieve your goal.  Nebulous rewards don’t motivate people to achieve much. 

• Have someone in your corner who can dispense counsel & guidance. 
• Think about who can help you achieve your goal.  Identify friends who can be encouragers and who can help keep you motivated and on-track.
• List the skills and knowledge required to attain your goal
• Develop a plan of action to achieve your goal
• Set a deadline for achievement.  It’s hard to achieve something that has no ending date.
  

• Is this really my goal?
  
• Is this morally right and fair to everyone involved?
• Will it take me closer to my long-range goal?
• Can I commit myself to start and reach this objective?
• Can I see myself attaining this goal?
• You should answer yes to each of these questions.  If not, re-evaluate!

• Will it make me happier?
• Will it make me healthier?
• Will it make me more prosperous?
• Will it increase my security?
• Will it help me make more friends?
• Will it give me peace of mind?
• Will it improve my family (and other) relationships?
• Will it increase my hope for the future?

 If you can’t answer yes to each of these questions, re-evaluate your goal.

Everyone in the world has felt this emotion one time or another. Especially in these times rapid technological growth the feeling of loneliness is rapidly increasing.

 Firstly, we must clarify what loneliness means.

 Loneliness is an emotional state. This is a state where people experience a disconnection from people around them as well as a deep feeling of emptiness, which renders their present company around them meaningless.

That person could be in a big crowd or by him/herself, married or single, young or old. They basically find it very hard to connect with others and experiences emancipation from meaningful relationships.

This is not to be confused with being alone.

Being alone does not equate to being lonely because sometimes it is good for a person to be alone and at times it could be very refreshing as the person has the opportunity to refresh, recuperate and rediscover part of our lives.

What are the common symptoms of being alone, if you are reading this article? I bet you might be feeling one of these symptoms.

• You think your problems are so unique and other people do not understand
• As a result, you feel that other people in the world have friends and you don’t
• You feel extremely self-conscious in everything you do
• When you do something wrong or incorrect, you get extremely embarrassed
• When you are in a crowd, you feel drowned by their voices
• You feel disconnected with the crowd even though you are with them
• Feeling shy and scared of others
• Experiencing low self-esteem
• Feeling angry, defensive, and critical at everything even if it is not directed at you
• Afraid of strangers and refuse to talk to engage in a hearty conversation
• Being convinced there is something wrong with you
• Feeling anxious and sad believing no one knows how miserable/isolated you feel
• Losing your capacity to be assertive and feeling "invisible"
• Refusing to accept change and don’t want to try anything new
• Feeling as though nothing else matters and contemplating suicide

Yet, there is that nagging doubt.  That feeling that you shouldn’t always be so stressed, so tired, so short on time, coupled with the knowledge that you can’t seem to think clearly anymore, that you always forget family birthdays and that you rarely eat dinner before 10:00 p.m.

You should probably listen to your own intuition and take control over your life before you have no OTHER life than what exists in the workplace.  If you still need convincing, or perhaps some more objective feedback, try this little quiz:

If you answered ‘True’ to less than five of these questions, you are not overworked and your life is in good balance.

If you answered ‘True’ to more than eight of these questions, your life is seriously out of balance.

If you answered ‘True’ to more than twelve of these questions, you should immediately start a program to regain control over your life, before stress and overwork damage your health and your relationships.

It would be nice to think that the companies on the leading edge of work-life balance programs are simply being good citizens and doing the right thing!  But, the fact is that these programs make good business sense.

Who are the companies with programs, what do the programs look like and what results have they achieved?

You might be surprised to know that these companies cut across all industries in the private and the public sector.  Here are some examples of program components:

Ø  Elder care programs consisting of resources directories, counseling, elder care services and educational services

Ø  Expanded telecommuting and ‘telework’ programs that allow employees to work from home or other locations

Ø  Part-time and job sharing positions for employees come off disability or recovering from health problems, or for parents who wish to spend time at home with their children or with aging parents

Ø  Fully accredited child care centers in or near the workplace

Ø  Babies in the Workplace programs that allow a child to remain with a parent in the workplace until the age of six months or whenever the child starts to crawl

Ø  Alternative work schedules and FlexTime work schedules that allow employees to work hours other than 9:00 to 5:00 in order to better meet their personal needs

Ø  Family Advocacy Programs held at lunch-time on managing personal finances, parenting, stress management, anger management and elder care issues

Ø  Outdoor recreation, walking paths and fitness equipment for employee use during and after work.  Some companies even provide grills, row boats and other equipment for employee family use.

Ø  Support groups for elder care, new fathers, holistic health, spousal abuse, single parents,  adoptive parents, parents of teenagers parents of blended or merged families, caregivers, and grandparents raising grandchildren alone.

Ø  Nursing Mother Rooms for breastfeeding moms

Ø  Enforced scheduling and use of vacation and personal days to ensure that the employees takes time off from work

Ø  Cross-training in positions to ensure coverage so that employees can take time off without the company suffering

Here are some links to get you started:

https://workfamily.sas.upenn.edu/

http://www.wfcresources.com/resource-center/

If you are in a position to influence the company’s decision or you have the power to decide on a Work-Life Program, don’t wait.  Contrary to what you may think you won’t lose money or time on this program.  Instead, your company will run better and you will find it easier to attract and retain good employees.  You will get a lot of support and good press from your employees and your managers, alike - and your company may even end up in one of those University Case Studies.  A role model for others to follow!

There is some speculation that the culture of militant martyrdom may stem from the abuse of children at an early age. Militant martyrdom has been described as a result of children being reared in authoritarian fundamentalist familial systems (Kaganovskiy, 2003). Kaganovskiy ultimately explains the phenomenon of terrorism (in this case militant martyrdom) by a lack of empathy by the terrorist. This lack of empathy has been developed in childhood as a result of oppression, impoverishment, and suffering.

However, he argues that these conditions are second to repeated abuse and neglect as a child in the development, or rather non-development of empathy. Furthermore, Kaganovskiy suggests, women in these societies are the major perpetrators of the non-development of empathy in children. He suggests that because of the misogynistic environment and brutalization at the hands of males, women lose their ability to empathize. Therefore, women are not capable of teaching their children, particularly male children, empathy and actually become abusive towards their young. (DeMause, 2002; Janowitz, 2006; Kaganovskiy, 2003) Lachkar (2002) added that suicide attackers have developed a borderline personality disorder that developed because of neglectful and abusive child-rearing practices, frustrating dependency needs and viewing individual desires as weakness. She adds that young boys experience anger and resentment as a result. This may cause them to identify with charismatic leaders, adopt misogynistic and oppression ideologies, and disassociate with anything perceived as womanly, including participating in child-rearing practices (Berko & Erez, 2005; DeMause, 2002; Lachkar, 2002; Steiner, 1974). Thus, the cycle is perpetuated. Bardis (1973) additionally notes that physical violence is most commonly found those with lower social status and lower levels of education. As previously pointed out, there appears to be little positive correlation between poverty and support for terrorist acts (Krueger & Maleckova, 2002). However, this may provide some rationale for the support that is found among low SES Palestinians.

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In his book The Winning Attitude, John C. Maxwell, noted author and speaker tells us that attitude is:

         The “advance man” of our true selves

         Has inward roots but outward fruits

         Is our best friend or worst enemy

         Is more honest and more consistent than our words

         Is an outward look based on past experiences

         Is a think which draws people to us or repels them

         Is never content until it is expressed

         Is the librarian of our past

         Is the speaker of our present

         Is the prophet of our future

Cynicism comes from having unrealistic expectations.  Many people expect great and wonderful things to happen to them with little-to-no work on their parts.  They expect things to fall from the sky in to their laps.  When it doesn’t happen as they expect, they become suspicious of others who have achieved success and ultimately, cynical.

As you discipline yourself to do this, you will find optimism and positive thinking chasing you down the street.  And who couldn’t use these two friends when we’re aiming for success?

Incorporate these skills into your strategy for success and you’ll move forward quicker than you ever dreamed!

•           Hustle:  generally, people who make it big have one thing in common—they are dissatisfied with the status quo.  They will not take what is “common” or “expected” and let that define their lives—they move past it and excel.  You must work hard and hustle.

•           Character:  someone coined the phrase, “character is what you do in the dark.”  In other words, when no one is looking, will you behave differently than if someone was looking?  If not, then you have character.  If you are attacked, be tough—not hard.  Don’t be a pushover, but be compassionate, gentle, and flexible—especially on procedure (not principle).

Don’t be afraid of rejection, just take it as part of life and you’ll find there’s nothing to be afraid of—especially in the word “no.”  “No” is just another opportunity to find a way around an obstacle and to use creative problem-solving skills.

Proper time management is essential as you climb to success.  Continue to break goals down in to manageable chunks—do that with relation to your day and the time you’ve been given.  You’ll accomplish far more this way and you won’t regret using your time wisely.

Be aware that when you try to “multi-task,” you often end up short-changing something, and the last thing you want is to short-change people.  Don’t try to do too much at once—your willingness to do this tells people they aren’t important, even if you’re expressing your appreciation of their work and effort.  Be aware of what message your body is sending off!

Develop these 5 attributes of a successful person, and you will find yourself moving quickly toward your goals in life!

•           Thick Skin:  you cannot be easily offended or hurt if you want to be successful.  There will always be people who are jealous or envious or out to bring someone else down—you must develop a way to see past that and let it roll off your back, like “water off a duck’s back.” 

Ducks have feathers that are tight and their density act like oil—it keeps the duck dry and warm.  So when water (cold or otherwise) lands on the back of a duck, it simply rolls off.  Let criticism roll off your back in a similar manner—because if you are going to be successful, you will have your share of criticism.  Count on it.

•           Obedience:  although this might seem strange to talk about to adults and not children, it is important to consider that in order to be a leader, you must first learn how to obey a leader.  You must learn the principle of loyalty to a leader if you want to lead others. 

Once you have learned how to obey and to follow directions, you can lead others and understand what commands and orders do for an organization and an individual.  Consider this:  175 of the CEOs of Fortune 500 companies are former US Marines, and 27 US Presidents served in the military.

•           Courage:  bravery is not courage, but you cannot have courage without being brave.  Courage is the moral fortitude to stand up for your character (touched on in the last article) and to do the right thing—even in the face of adversity. 

When you have courage, you follow through on your vision.  It’s on display every day and only the courageous have the ability to get the most out of life.  When you have the strength of your conviction, find the courage to put it in to action.  You won’t be sorry you did.

•           Intolerance:  not exactly what you might expect to find in an article about success, but each of us must be intolerant of any number of things:  intolerant of abuse, of injustice, of the things that you know are immoral, unethical, or illegal.  If there’s anything in this world you should be intolerant of, those are some of them.  I hope you are an intolerant person—in the right way.

•           Sense of Humour:  if you don’t have a sense of humour, you will fall flat on your face and never be someone who succeeds.  A good portion of the road we walk to success is filled with blockades and potholes.  If you come up against one and go down, you must have the ability to laugh at the situation and yourself.  If you don’t, you will be angry and bitter about your misfortune and never move past it.  Laugh at yourself and what you run up against and you’ll find your climb to the top is quicker and more enjoyable than you thought it would be.

According to Hudson (1999), terrorist groups, including those that endorse militant martyrdom, have similarities with religious cults:

They require total commitment by members; they often prohibit relations with outsiders, although this may not be the case with ethnic or separatist terrorist groups whose members are well integrated into the community; they regulate and sometimes ban sexual relations; they impose conformity; they seek cohesiveness through interdependence and mutual trust; and they attempt to brainwash individual members with their particular ideology. (p. 35)

Martyrdom is by no means a new concept. In Arabic-Islamic society, the idea of terrorism, or the intentional instillation of fear in the masses, using militant-martyrs appeared in the 11^th century in the form of a Shi'i Islam sect known as the Nizari Isma'ilis, or Assassins (Campbell, 2004; Hudson, 1999; Kermani, 2002; Kjeilen, 2003). The Assassins would perform public political murders with nothing more than a dagger so that the act would be well known. In most cases, his target’s bodyguards would immediately kill the Assassin. According to Kjeilen (2003), the Assassins were instrumental in turning terrorism into an Islamic religious duty.

According to Hashhash (2006), “martyrdom is an everyday event that continues to perpetuate itself in Palestine and its representation is a frequent visual motif in Palestinian art, media, and life.” Still, martyrs have been heralded in every religion and every corner of the earth, not just Palestine. However, in recent times, militant martyrdom has almost become synonymous with radical Islam, if not Islam in general, in the minds of some Westerners. After all, Muslim society has endorsed associated tactics. For example, the Shi'ite martyrdom zeitgeist resulted in Iranian soldiers rushing forward into Iraqi mine fields during the Iran-Iraq War (Kermani, 2002). Further, many who were killed or injured were children and teenagers. This same culture of martyrdom opened the door in 1983 for a member of Hezbollah to commit a suicide bombing for the first time in Lebanon (Kermani, 2002).

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Exerpt from the guide

RESPONDING TO THE NEEDS OF PEOPLE WITH SERIOUS AND PERSISTENT
MENTAL ILLNESS IN TIMES OF MAJOR DISASTER

 PREFACE

Since the mid-1970's, the Federal Government has provided grant support to deal with the psychological consequences of major disasters.  Funds for these grants are provided by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA).

 The crisis counseling program managed first by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) and now by the Center for Mental Health Services (CMHS) provides counseling and training to all who live and or work in areas declared disasters by the President.  Within these general guidelines, CMHS and FEMA recognize that there are groups of people who are at greater risk for disaster-related stress, whose needs may require special attention by service providers, or who may have more difficulty using the variety of government services that become available following disasters.

 In that spirit, the CMHS Emergency Services and Disaster Relief Branch has produced this technical assistance document to address the needs of people with serious and persistent mental illness following major disasters.  Several people with direct experience in disaster services to this population were asked to develop chapters for the publication.  Drafts of the document were shared with colleagues, CMHS staff, and an even broader audience for review and comment.

The task was more complex than anticipated.  The writers struggled with how to address the needs of people with mental illness while not stigmatizing them further.  They explored how, or even whether their needs differ from those who are impacted by largeBscale disasters but do not have a mental illness.  And they struggled with the realization that when people with a serious mental illness experience the same disaster-related stress as anybody else, they often are inappropriately and unjustly labeled as experiencing an acute exacerbation of their illness.

This process has yielded two significant results:

First, we identified the need for this document, which is the first guide to use narrative and illustration, from providers, program planners and designers, and administrators of disaster response and recovery programs.

Second, we learned that the needs and desires of people with serious mental illness are closer to the needs desires of the general population following a disaster than previously thought.  People with mental illness have the same need for housing, stability, and support as their neighbors in the days following a disaster.  They are as capable as anybody else in behaving heroically during and after the disaster event.  They have the  same difficulties maneuvering through the complexities of the recovery process.   And they share the desire to see their lives and communities restored.

In this attempt to identify how to best meet the needs of people with serious mental illness following major disasters, the developers of this document hope that the principles noted here might be generalized to other groups of people who, for a variety of reasons, find it more difficult to access the resources available following disasters.

The most gratifying part of my many years in disaster mental health work has been the privilege of witnessing firsthand the strength and resiliency of the human spirit following major trauma.  I have been reminded of how much more the mental health field needs to learn about mental health as compared with mental illness.  This project serves as a dramatic reminder that the presence of a mental illness does not preclude an individual from having the resources and strength to physically and psychologically survive a major disaster, and from assisting in the rebuilding of their lives and community following disaster.  Indeed, people with mental illness do share the same pain and fear as everybody else.

Ironically, disasters provide a unique opportunity for individuals and communities to focus on the commonality of the human condition when the walls that separate us are both literally and figuratively knocked down.  All those who participated in the writing of this document were reminded that the commonality of our needs and desires overshadows our differences.

                                                            Brian W. Flynn, Ed.D.

                                                            Chief, Emergency Services and Disaster Relief Branch

                                                            Center for Mental Health Services

Click HERE for the full guide.