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Loneliness Series

April, 2012

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Implications of the Ego Strength-Frustration Tendencies Model

4/22/2012 1:02:13 AM

While this article series is primarily concerned with explaining militant martyrdom among Palestinian males, it must be noted and was previously alluded to, that harsh conditions existed years prior to the first incident of militant martyrdom. As stated previously, the Palestinian Authority’s martyrdom campaign has explanatory power here. The ES-FT model explains it in the following manner. Palestinians, prior to the martyrdom campaign, where in a positive ego strength state. ES-FT’s suggestion that Palestinians, while exhibiting positive ego strength state in a frustrating environment, would have a tendency toward militancy, but not militant martyrdom. Support for this can be found in the relative lack of martyrdom acts throughout their history prior to the mass martyrdom campaign initiated in 2001, and the subsequent significant rise in attacks. Drawing on the psychoanalytic concept of projection, this author hypothesizes that Palestinians where able to maintain a strong sense of self by projecting their internal and external frustrations onto their oppressors, the Israelis. However, with the launch of the martyrdom campaign, Palestinians were being told that their lives were worthless unless they engaged in militant martyrdom. Previously, their lives had worth if they fought and lived to fight another day. This created a state of emotional dissonance and a psychological re-awakening to inter-group frustrations and abuses. This re-awakening has resulted in a reassessment of their self-identity, self-worth, and self-determination and caused a move toward the negative pole of the positive-negative ego strength continuum. However, the motives for engaging in militant martyrdom may certainly be different for the individual than for the group, as a whole, that promotes it.

Winkates (2006) confirms that there is a distinction of motivation between the militant martyr, himself, and the sponsoring group. He suggests that national interests, in which case suicide bombings might be seen simply as a means to an end, motivate the sponsoring organization. Additionally, he describes the martyr as being spurred on by a combination of psychological, religious, and social motives. Further, the reviewed literature does indeed point directly to psychological distress, including an inhibited sense of self, as a major contributor to the development of militant martyrs. More importantly, it points to psychological victimization by both the Israelis and the Palestinian directly as the source of this distress and subsequent culture of martyrdom.

To read the whole article click here.

Establishing Healthy Goals

4/14/2012 11:46:12 PM

“Genius” has been described as the “ability to focus on one thing at a time.” Many people who are “geniuses” are so not only because they have a high intellect, but because they are a gift of being able to focus on the objective or goal at hand.

This same focus must come in to play when determining what your goals are in relation to success. You need to learn to work towards one major objective and juggle a few short- and mid-range goals at the same time.

One way to determine what your direction is (and ultimately your goals are) is to do a check-up. I suggest listing 7 categories: Financial, Career, Family, Personal, Spiritual, Mental, & Physical. Rank your goals in these categories and how you’re doing. This will illustrate to you where you are and where you’d like to be and exactly how balanced you are as you move about your process.

Set goals that are smart. Big goals must be broken down in to manageable pieces. Don’t set more than 4 goals to work on during a single day. Seek divine guidance and direction on each goal.
Then identify what the pay-off is when you achieve your goal. Nebulous rewards don’t motivate people to achieve much.

List the obstacles that stand between you and your goals. If you’re not aware of potential problems, you’ll be side-tracked when they arise and lose sight of your objective.

Have someone in your corner who can dispense counsel & guidance.
Think about who can help you achieve your goal. Identify friends who can be encouragers and who can help keep you motivated and on-track.
List the skills and knowledge required to attain your goal
Develop a plan of action to achieve your goal
Set a deadline for achievement. It’s hard to achieve something that has no ending date.

As you consider your goals, ask yourself the following questions:

Is this really my goal?
Is this morally right and fair to everyone involved?
Will it take me closer to my long-range goal?
Can I commit myself to start and reach this objective?
Can I see myself attaining this goal?
You should answer yes to each of these questions. If not, re-evaluate!

And then give each goal a final test of the “basic wants” in life:

Will it make me happier?
Will it make me healthier?
Will it make me more prosperous?
Will it increase my security?
Will it help me make more friends?
Will it give me peace of mind?
Will it improve my family (and other) relationships?
Will it increase my hope for the future?

If you can’t answer yes to each of these questions, re-evaluate your goal.

Loneliness Series: Article 1

4/14/2012 9:57:03 PM

Everyone in the world has felt this emotion one time or another. Especially in these times rapid technological growth the feeling of loneliness is rapidly increasing.

Firstly, we must clarify what loneliness means.

Loneliness is an emotional state. This is a state where people experience a disconnection from people around them as well as a deep feeling of emptiness, which renders their present company around them meaningless.

That person could be in a big crowd or by him/herself, married or single, young or old. They basically find it very hard to connect with others and experiences emancipation from meaningful relationships.

This is not to be confused with being alone.

Being alone does not equate to being lonely because sometimes it is good for a person to be alone and at times it could be very refreshing as the person has the opportunity to refresh, recuperate and rediscover part of our lives.

What are the common symptoms of being alone, if you are reading this article? I bet you might be feeling one of these symptoms.

You think your problems are so unique and other people do not understand
As a result, you feel that other people in the world have friends and you don’t
You feel extremely self-conscious in everything you do
When you do something wrong or incorrect, you get extremely embarrassed
When you are in a crowd, you feel drowned by their voices
You feel disconnected with the crowd even though you are with them
Feeling shy and scared of others
Experiencing low self-esteem
Feeling angry, defensive, and critical at everything even if it is not directed at you
Afraid of strangers and refuse to talk to engage in a hearty conversation
Being convinced there is something wrong with you
Feeling anxious and sad believing no one knows how miserable/isolated you feel
Losing your capacity to be assertive and feeling "invisible"
Refusing to accept change and don’t want to try anything new
Feeling as though nothing else matters and contemplating suicide

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